Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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