that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Randomize
