ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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