Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
