I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Randomize