About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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