I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize