Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I want to make a zoo with you.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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