Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
