I got chris browned last night
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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