No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
well, you know. whores of a feather.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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