we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
then he tried to convert me to islam
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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