... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
