Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
