...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
