So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
