I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Randomize
