I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
