Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
