the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
