i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
