elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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