I swear she didn't look like that last week.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
