Banned from zoo.
Again?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
