I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
