you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
