I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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