No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
