I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
