Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
