white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
