I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize