Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Randomize
