I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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