you're like a bully in the Christmas story
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
