What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
