Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
