And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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