I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
