As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
