I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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