I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
