my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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