My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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