Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
