the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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