he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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