I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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