i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
