i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
