i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
