dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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