Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm at about main and main street
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
