when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
