Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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