My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
