Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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