I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
