if you like me you must not know who I am
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
