either way he was missing a nipple.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
