and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
